Life...

I don't understand why I still care for him. Obviously he just doesn't feel about me the way that he use to. And it's a good thing though. But why can't I just get over him. He got over me, and he did it quickly. Like 3 weeks later he had a fiance type thing. I just I don't know. I was happy. I don't know if I was in love, but I really cared about him. To me, the way that it's in my head for some reason, I'm just not good enough. I'm afraid that I will never be able to open up to anyone. I really let him know me. And it hurts it hurts a lot. He gave me MayLynn. I love her so much more than anything else in the world. And that's a reason why I care for him. I just I don't know. I know what I want in life. I want to be married in the temple, finish school, and have kids. I just am sad right now. It's hard. Not a day goes bad that I don't miss May... It hurts a lot. I just feel numb. Not happy not really sad just idk..    I just miss her so much