Everyday is an obstacle. I think about what May's life would be like if I would have kept her. I know it would have been hard for her and me. I did not want her to be torn between two families. I would've always let the BF's side of the family see her, I knew that they would fight me for custody and try to take her away from me. I also wanted her to have a mom and dad who love each other and that are married. And to have the Priesthood in the home.
MayLynn is sooo beautiful! I love the openess that I have with the adoptive family! I got two pictures today :) It always makes my day start off incredible. I talk to Jared and Rachel like they are my older brother and sister. I just went and saw all of them in Cali on Martin Luther King weekend. It was incredible! And although it hurts, it also makes me happier to be able to see her. To see how she's doing, and to see where she lives. I plan to go up again sometime in the summer. And I can't wait!!! Of course they do make trips to AZ. Since their two daughters' birth families live down here. I just am so completely happy that she is with them.
She has changed my life so much. She has made me want to be a better person. To not let others take advantage of me, because I am worth more. I love her with every fiber in my being. Words can't describe how much she means to me.
I know it's hard...I think about the "what if's" a lot. But my daughter's parents are amazing, which makes it so much easier. I am glad that your daughter's parents are great people and it sounds like she is going so well. The pictures and updates are amazing right!
ReplyDeleteJustina!!! You are amazing! Never doubt that! I always thing about what kind of life I would have had if I had kept my sweet baby girl...but the like you I would have had a fight on my hands with the other family. My baby girl deserved better than that...she didn't need to feel torn between two families. I still get so excited when I get something in the mail from them! It makes me so happy to see her happy! It makes me know that I did the right thing for her. It also makes me happy to see how she makes the adoptive couple happy! It is just a good feeling...but there are days where I feel sad...but it's ok, because the good out weighs the bad. You are such a sweet woman, and have grown so much!! I love you!!!!
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